Some basic rules:

• You can play this one of two ways: 1)Everyone drinks whenever any of these things happens. However, this will probably result in a lot of very hungover people come Wednesday morning. 2)Everyone picks two characters - either Simone or Sipowicz and someone else - and drinks whenever something from that list comes up. A third option is to be Simone, someone else, and Sipowicz, but only drink club soda for Sipowicz. Your call.
• There will also be a list of social drinks at the end, where everyone must drink, regardless. These are things that might be done or said by any character. There are also a couple that are applicable for either Sipowicz or Simone but no one else, and those will have a separate header.

Det. Andy Sipowicz

• Calls someone an asshole.................One drink for each "asshole"
• Does some investigating on his own........................One drink
• Tells Kelly, "I'm going back to <place> to talk to <person> - there's more here than meets the eye."....................Two drinks
• Walks into a bar..........................................One drink
• Someone offers him a drink................................Two drinks
• Has a fight with Sylvia..................................One drink
• Makes up with her......................................Two drinks
• Appears nervous about advancing their relationship.........One drink
• Makes a racial comment....................................One drink
• Makes a racial comment to Fancy...........................Two drinks
• His son appears..........................................Two drinks
• He has trouble looking someone in the eye................One drink
• Has a problem with someone who wears a wig................Three drinks
• Grabs his crotch..........................................One drink
• Physically attacks someone...............................Two drinks
• Mops his brow...........................................One drink
• Mops his brow while he eats.............................Two drinks
• Calls someone a "hump".......................................One drink
• Calls someone a "douche bag".............................One drink
• Someone makes a crack about his weight or hairline........One drink
• He discusses his dog or his fish..........................One drink
• We see his dog or his fish.................................Two drinks
• Goes off the wagon (this does not count for the early episodes, when he was constantly off the wagon)...........chug a steaming glass of Perrier
• Bares his butt.........................chug the whole damn thing and pray

Det. Bobby Simone

• Refers to his pigeons......................................One drink
• Uses the term "cock" while referring to his pigeons........Two drinks
• Acts like John Kelly (your discretion).....................Two drinks
• Appears to go too easy on a suspect........................One drink
• Offers to get said suspect a yogurt or other dietary food item...Two drinks
• Refers to his dead wife....................................One drink
• Gets an earring, reveals that he has a law degree, and moves back to LA..........................................Chug

DET. GREG MEDAVOY:

• Stammers.................................................One drink
• Someone imitates his stammer.............................Two drinks
• Starts to flirt with Donna and gets nervous..............One drink
• Flirts with Donna without getting nervous.................Two drinks
• Gets worked up over some mundane issue (the dry cleaning, the X-Mas party, etc.).............................................One drink
• Has an anxiety attack.....................................Two drinks
• Leaves his wife..........................................One drink
• Goes back to her.........................................Two drinks
• Is not used as comic relief.............................Three drinks

DET. JAMES MARTINEZ:

• Refers to another cop as "detective"........................One drink
• Calls someone by their first name...........................Two drinks
• Someone says (either to him or when talking about him) that he'll make a good detective some day......................One drink
• Kelly says it...............................................Two drinks
• Is told that he "did good work back there".................One drink
• His father appears..........................................One drink
• He calls his father "Papi".................................Two drinks
• Someone comments on the fact that his father looks like he's only a few years older than him..........................Chug
• He gets a girlfriend.......chug, then thank the gods for answering our prayers

MISS DONNA ABANDANDO:

• She smiles at Sipowicz......................................One drink
• She sleeps with Medavoy.....................................Two drinks
• She makes any sort of reference to the NY Rangers...........One drink
• Makes a reference to the recent Stanley Cup victory........Two drinks
• Is hit on by a detective other than Medavoy.................One drink
• Worries about Medavoy......................................One drink
• Calls Medavoy "Gregory".....................................One drink
• Refers to any other cop by his/her first name...............Two drinks

LT. ARTHUR FANCY:

• Asks someone to come into his office........................One drink
• Chews someone out in his office.............................Two drinks
• Is chewed out by Commander Habrill..........................Two drinks
• Is chewed out by anyone else in the department.............Three drinks
• We see his family...........................................Two drinks
• Someone refers to him as "Lou" (short for lieutenant)......One drink
• Complains about how tough it is to be black in they NYPD...One drink
• Worries about his impending baby boy.......................Two drinks
• Overlooks a subordinate's minor screwup (ie Kelly being late to work, Greg and Donna having an office romance)...............One drink
• Overlooks a major screw-up (ie Roberts having the junkie girlfriend, Andy being drunk on duty)............................Chug
• His home appears well-lit.................................Chug
• Someone other than his wife calls him Arthur................Chug

Ada Sylvia Costas

• Appears to hate Sipowicz (see early episodes)..............One drink
• Goes out with Sipowicz.....................................One drink
• Tells Sipowicz that she doesn't care about all his bad habits and the way he used to be..................................Two drinks
• Sleeps with Sipowicz.......................................Five drinks
• Tells Sipowicz that she can't be with him until he's better, but that "I'm pulling for you" (or words to that effect)..........One drink
• Tells a cop that they're doing something illegal...........One drink
• Helps the cops do something unethical......................Two drinks
• Does something about that hideous hairstyle............Chug

Det. Adrian Lesniak

• Any reference is made to her psycho ex-boyfriend..........One drink
• We see her psycho ex-boyfriend............................Two drinks
• Has a problem with a male coworker over something minor (like a tit-cup)...................................One drink
• Has a problem with a male coworker over something major (like Sip chewing her out for no reason)...........Two drinks
• Wears a skirt.............................................Chug

Sipowicz & Simone

• Give their card to a "hurting" person and tell them to "give me a call if you need to talk"...............................Two drinks
• Play good cop, bad cop.....................................One drink
• Simone is the bad cop.......................................Two drinks
• Tell a suspect that another suspect "gave you up"..........One drink
• They're lying when they say the above......................Two drinks

Social Drinks

• Anyone meets someone and starts a conversation in the stairwell...one drink
• Any of the detectives appears in uniform........................two drinks
• Any two people have a conversation in the locker room...........one drink
• One or more of the above is nude................................two drinks
• A suspect does not ask for a lawyer.............................two drinks
• A detective asks someone, "Do you/did he/did she have enemies?"..one drink
• Anyone other than Sipowicz says "Asshole".....................two drinks

If any of the following terminology is used by anyone

• "reach out".......................................one drink
• "like" used as "suspect" ("We like these X brothers in that armed robbery...")..............................one drink
• "make" ("We liked those X brothers in that robbery, but the case didn't make")..............................one drink
• "on the job"......................................one drink
• "lay a loaf"......................................three drinks
• "Interview One"..................................one drink
• "Skell" used to describe a small-time perp.......two drinks
• "bust your/my/his/her balls".....................one drink
• "squeeze your/my/his/her shoes" (used in place of any busting of balls).........................two drinks

If a guest star

• dies............................................one drink
• leaves the show.................................one drink
• used to play a superhero in a red costume.......two drinks
• gets naked......................................two drinks
• ever appeared on Hill Street Blues..............two drinks
• plays their HSB character (i.e., the "I'M BUCK NAKED!!!!!" guy)....chug
• Makes an in-jokey reference to a previous acting role (ie, Roy Larson losing his "flash money")..............two drinks
• Is a cop and loses his job due to a scandal.......one drink
• Is Steven Bochco's real-life wife, Barbara Bosson....chug, shoot the TV, and write an angry letter to ABC about the evils of nepotism

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