To Play Labyrinth: The Drinking Game, you will need:
- A copy of Labyrinth
- An ample supply of your favorite bevarage. Please note that YOU CAN play this without alchohol, and you'd better be doing it if you're underage!
- AA's phone number (optional)
Begin by inserting your beat up copy of Labyrinth into your
VCR or DVD player and pressing the Play button. The game starts when
the music begins, David Bowie starts wailing, the opening credits roll,
and computerized owls start flapping around the screen. Every time one
of the listed events occurs, everyone takes a sip of their
drink. We really don't recommend chugging a whole glass, especially if
you're using alcohol. You'll be piss drunk before Jareth even says,
"What a pity."
- Sarah says, "You have no power over me!"
- Sarah whines.
- Sarah cries, "It's not fair!" Drink twice if someone other than Sarah says it.
- Sarah gets cocky.
- Sarah gets that "Oh Shit!" look on her face.
- Sarah meets a totally useless Labyrinth creature or creatures.
- Sarah takes something for granted. Drink twice if Sarah does something clever without any help.
- Jareth makes a really impressive entrance.
- Jareth changes clothes. Drink twice if he's wearing all white.
- Jareth plays with his balls (twirls his crystals...GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!).
- Jareth makes a veiled threat.
- Drink twice if Jareth displays an emotion other than anger.
- Jareth spontaneously bursts into song. Drink twice if it's not about Sarah.
- Jareth gloats.
- Hoggle grumbles.
- Someone screws up Hoggle's name. Drink twice if Jareth doesn't screw up his name.
- Hoggle changes loyalties.
- Hoggle grovels.
- Hoggle indulges in self pity.
- Hoggle makes up a story to cover his butt.
- Drink twice if Hoggle displays selflessness.
- Drink twice if Ludo forms a complete sentance (three words or more).
- Ludo summons the rocks.
- Ludo behaves like a stuffed animal.
- Didymus acts knightly.
- Didymus attacks something he's no match for.
- Drink twice if Didymus admits to meeting his match in battle.
- Drink twice if you hear Didymus' Lone Ranger impersonation.
- There's a gratuitous shot of a clock or a clock appears out of nowhere. Drink twice if there's only twelve numbers on its face.
- Someone says, "Things aren't always what they seem in this place", or the like.
- A goblin says something intelligent.
- Drink twice if you hear, "Your Mama's a fraggin' aardvark!"
- Ambrosius cowers and/or flees in terror.
- Toby makes a cute baby noise.
- Drink twice when Toby says "Dada" and burps.
- Drink twice if you can find the milk bottles (hint: watch after the Goblin Battle scene).
- Drink twice for each Labyrinth character's counterpart that
you can identify in Sarah's room at the beginning. (Ludo, Hoggle,
Jareth, Didymus, and a Firey).
The game ends when the Labyrinth characters start dancing around
your living room and/or Jareth appears out of nowhere and announces
that he's come to take you away (he's commonly mistaken for the
designated driver). This is regardless of where you actually are in the
The winner is the last conscious person to put down his
drink after each event. Ties are possible, of course. Alternate Method:
the winner is the person who is sober enough to push the Rewind button.
IF YOU'RE NOT USING ALCOHOL: The winner is the person
who's been able to avoid using the bathroom the entire time, or the
least amount of times.