The Homicide Drinking Game
by Bob Tard bobtard@aol.com and
various members of alt.tv.homicide
Thanks to:
Chris Leininger cleinin@u.washington.edu
Jason Lempka jlempk1@umbc.edu
Michaela Schlocker schlock@leland.stanford.edu
Tinita M. Wheaton TMWHEATO@cas.syr.edu
Special Guest Thanks to:
Alan Sepinwall sepinwal@mail.sas.upenn.edu
THE RULES
Every person assumes the identity of one of the regular characters on the show. Choose
the beverage -- alcoholic or otherwise -- of your choice. Every time your character
performs one of the following acts, you or your fellow characters must drink your beverage
according to the guidelines laid out here.
FRANK PEMBLETON
- Frank overenunciates while interrogating a suspect -- one drink
- Franks wears his hat -- two drinks
- Frank pauses for two seconds or more while delivering a line -- two drinks
- Frank raises his voice -- one drink
- Frank cries -- chug, group hug, and then everyone says in unison "If that man
doesn't get an Emmy..."
- Frank talks about the Jesuits -- two drinks
- Frank gives a reason for not going to church -- two drinks
- Frank lights a cigarette with loving care -- one shot
- Frank talks about God -- one drink
- Frank mentions Olivia -- one drink
- Frank is belittled for smoking -- one drink
- Frank is shown wearing suspenders -- one drink
- Frank is shown wearing suspenders and a belt -- chug
- Suspect tries to make Frank angry with racial epithets -- one drink
- Frank actively responds to racial epithets -- chug
TIM BAYLISS
- Bayliss disagrees with Frank -- one drink
- Bayliss agrees with Frank -- chug
- Bayliss talks to anyone besides Frank while Frank isn't around -- chug until he talks to
Frank again
- Bayliss complains about his back -- one shot
- Bayliss gets dissed by a woman -- chug
- Bayliss talks about the bar -- one drink
- Someone calls Bayliss a "rookie" -- one drink
- Bayliss stands behind suspect in Box -- one drink
- Bayliss complains about his back -- a dose of Doan's, but no drink; we know better than
to mix drugs and alcohol
- Bayliss tries to beg off a case -- one drink
LT. AL GIARDELLO
- Gee scowls at a detective -- one drink
- Gee scowls at a superior -- one drink
- Gee scowls at Brodie -- two drinks
- Gee scowls while watching an interrogation in the box -- chug until interrogation is
over.
- Gee says "Get to the bottom of this" -- drink until you get to the bottom of
your glass.
- Gee speaks in Italian -- one drink for every word you or anyone else remotely
understands.
- Gee wears his reading glasses -- one drink
- Gee changes his haircut from the last episode -- two drinks
- Gee mentions one of his kids -- 1 drink; Mentions all 3 kids -- three drinks
- You can understand the first time what Gee says -- one drink
- Gee turns over desk -- one drink
- Gee hits something -- chug
- Gee takes out physical aggression on an inanimate object -- one drink and chuck the
glass.
- Gee gets pissed and throws something -- one drink
- Gee mediates dispute between detectives -- one drink
MELDRICK LEWIS
- Meldrick mentions his grandmother -- one drink
- Meldrick mentions his crazy brother -- two drinks
- Meldrick mentions Crosetti -- three drinks while dressed in honor guard uniform
- Kellerman refers to Meldrick's budding "romance" with Kay -- one drink, with a
slice of wedding cake
- Lewis refers to Kellerman as Mikey -- Both Mike and Meldrick take one drink
- Meldrick mentions driving -- one drink
- Meldrick drives -- chug. Chug until the experience is over
- Meldrick and Kay actually do have a romance -- chug and kiss "Kay"
- Meldrick drives badly/someone refers to his bad driving -- one drink
- Meldrick tosses football around -- one drink with Gatorade chaser
- Meldrick is partnered with someone besides Crosetti/Kellerman -- one drink
- Partner subsequently complains about Meldrick -- one drink
MIKE KELLERMAN
- Kellerman mentions his ex-wife -- one drink
- Kellerman mentions any childhood TV program or theme park -- two drinks
- Kellerman mentions smoking -- one drink while balancing a lit cigarette in the side of
your mouth; drop the cigarette, and you must drink again.
- Lewis refers to Kellerman as Mikey -- both Mike and Meldrick take one drink
- Mike mentions "When I was back in arson..." -- Chug to keep the urge to smack
him down.
- Kellerman/someone in a scene with Kellerman refers to the arson squad -- one drink
KAY HOWARD
- Anyone calls Kay "Sergeant" -- one drink; the character who called Kay
sergeant must salute.
- Anyone refers to Kay's perfect clearance rate -- one drink for all characters EXCEPT
Kay, for continued good luck.
- Kay appears with hair tied up -- one drink
- Kay appears with hair loosely flowing -- two drinks
- Kay appears with head shaved -- chug, and player must shave head too.
- Kay kisses her man -- two drinks for belief.
- Kay wears makeup -- one drink
- Kay wears a dress -- chug
- Kay pulls rank/tries to pull rank over someone -- one drink
- Kay gives Russert the brush-off -- one drink
- Kay wears the necklace Bolander gave her after they were shot -- one drink
JOHN MUNCH
- Munch is called "Munch-kin" -- one drink
- Munch takes off his glasses -- drink until your glass is clean, too.
- Munch serves a drink in the bar -- one drink
- Munch has a drink in the bar -- two drinks
- Munch passes out in the bar -- one drink; you must recite the names of Munch's three
ex-wives or risk drinking twice more.
- Munch or a picture of Munch intoxicated or stoned -- 2 drinks
- Munch OPENS his eyes -- two drinks
- Munch smiles -- two drinks to be certain
- Munch makes a patently concocted comment -- one drink
- Someone sees through Munch for what he really is -- chug
MEGAN RUSSERT
- Russert refers to her daughter -- one drink
- Russert refers to her days in Vice -- one drink
- Russert refers to her days in military intelligence -- two drinks
- Russert refers to Beau -- two drinks of something that will put some hair on your chest.
And neck. And back.
- Russert refers to her dead husband -- one drink
- Russert contributes to her characterization -- chug and keep going in disbelief.
CAPT. ROGER GAFFNEY
- Gaffney argues with Frank -- one drink
- Gaffney argues with Russert -- two drinks
- Gaffney argues with Barnfather -- three drinks and a Hershey's "Kiss." It will
give you a head start on what you'll need to do to Barnfather's boots later.
- Gaffney shows up in uniform -- everyone else better fall in line and drink, dammit.
- Gaffney berates a detective for his/her performance -- player representing that
character drinks twice, everyone else drinks once as a show of moral support against
"The Brass."
- Gaffney's speech goes "right to his stomach": No one may go to the head until
the good Captain is finished there.
- Gee overrides Gaffney -- one shot and everyone must stand at attention.
COLONEL BARNFATHER
- Barnfather yelling at a shift commander in their office -- one drink
- Barnfather has his hat under his arm and puts it on his head or vice-versa -- two drinks
- Barnfather calls Lt. Giardello, Gee -- one drink
- Barnfather tries to save his ass by chewing out someone lower than him -- one drink
ALL CHARACTERS
- Any character appears in a white Cavalier -- player representing that character drink
once
- Any character appears in a broken down white Cavalier -- player representing that
character drink until they get a tow, or finally appear at the crime scene or station
house.
- Any character other than Meldrick mentions Crosetti -- player representing that
character must take two drinks, yell "Long Live the Land of Lincoln" and eat a
"funny little cookie."
- Any character mentions Bolander -- player representing that character must take two
drinks and yell "The Big Man!"
- Any character mentions Beau Felton -- player representing that character must take two
drinks and recite the names of all the Baldwin brothers; if you fail, you must drink twice
more.
- Wilgis is mentioned -- One drink for each person she killed; that's 8 drinks. Player
must also name at least three of her personalities or take three more drinks.
- One drink for a player if a name either goes up or is changed to black on the board.
- Any character serves or takes a drink -- one drink
- A character talks to the press -- one drink
- A character talks to the press and says "no comment" -- two drinks
- A character swears at the press -- one drink per obscenity
- A character types up a report -- one drink
- A character types up a report using the hunt-and-peck method -- twelve sips, with ample
pauses in between
- Characters hang around on the roof -- one drink for each character there
OTHER SCENARIOS
- Adena Watson is mentioned -- 30 seconds of silence; any talking, laughing or drinking is
severely punished with a head butt administered by each of the other players.
- Any character in a "triple take" -- the player(s) representing those
characters must take three drinks
- QRT team is called in -- one drink
- Gratuitous celebrity cameo -- chug until celebrity leaves
- The reverb sound effect is used -- one drink
- The triple-take jump cut is used ("No honor guard" -- "no honor
guard" -- "no honor guard") -- three drinks, one per repetition
- The triple-take jump cut is used in a 4th season episode or later -- chug
- Someone watching the show/someone on the show comments on camera work -- chug,
until movement of room matches movement of camera
- Popular song used -- everyone except first person to identify song drinks
The Drinking Games
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