Take one drink when:

• Sammy lusts after Austin.
• Carrie whines about Austin to anyone who'll listen.
• Marlena wears those awful green contacts.
• Celeste warns Stefano about the "greater powers than yourself" (said in a mysteriously ambiguous accent)
• Jon Black wears a solid-colored pocket-T.

Take two drinks when:

• Kristen talks about being faithful.
• Tony pretends not to see Kristen taking her birth control pills.
• Grandma Horton tells Gina she's Hope.
• Billie whines about getting married.
• Bo talks about getting married in the snow.
• Jack talks about getting Jennifer back.
• Jennifer tells Peter its never gonna happen.

Take three drinks when:

• The desecrater strikes.
• Jon's eyebrow goes up.
• Alan explains how he no longer is a "man" (and if he is no longer a "man" why doesn't he talk like a boy soprano?)
• Every time Lucas tells Sammie to give it up.

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